Thursday, May 16, 2013

Sometimes I am Grateful For Trials

Okay, so maybe this is a little presumptuous of me (did I even use that word correctly?) but I managed to get three straight A's and an A- this semester. Now normally this isn't something I would brag about but this has been the toughest semester of my life.

I found out we were pregnant November 29th, 2012. I was 4 weeks pregnant and basically knew nothing about how pregnancy works. I didn't find out we were pregnant because I felt nauseous, just because I had a feeling. I just assumed right then that since I wasn't feeling sick I was one of the few fortunate ones who didn't get morning sickness. 1 week later I learned how wrong I was. Now, I wasn't ever so sick I needed to be hospitalized and for that, I am extremely grateful. But I literally felt sick from morning to night every single day from week 5 to week 16 and a 1/2. I threw up more in that time period then I have ever in my life. And when I wasn't throwing up I felt like I was always about to. I held onto the fact that morning sickness wouldn't last longer than 12 weeks. And then week 13 came...still sick...and 14...and so on.

When I started the semester I just naturally thought the morning sickness would pass but as each week went on it didn't. There were days where I was so sick I knew I couldn't go to class. And then there were times I even tried to push through it and well....we all know what happened that one time (if you don't there is a lovely blog post about it.) It got to the point where I knew I needed to let my professors know what was going on. 3 out of 4 of them were very supportive and understanding; one of them even did the very best he could to accommodate me. I was so grateful for their patience and understanding, but still I wondered how in the world I was going to pull out good grades when I couldn't even be in class to learn the information.

I worked really hard. As hard and as much as my body would allow me. It wasn't easy. I cried a lot and wanted to quit so badly but this beautiful little baby continued to push me. I reminded myself how much easier it would be if I could get more schooling done before she came; how much more time I could spend with her if I could get this done.

I really couldn't have done it without Penelope, my wonderful husband who helped me through so much of it, and really fantastic teachers. I owe this personal success to all of them.

So no, I didn't save anyone's life, or win some really super awesome award for doing something good...I'm bragging about getting almost all straight A's when everything in my life seemed to make it impossible. Nothing amazing, but still I got to say, I am really proud of myself.

Sometimes things in life are hard and we wish for nothing more than for the hard thing to be over with...but so often in life getting through the hard things is where we really learn what we're capable of.

And my Evidence grade was right on the edge of being an A!

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our soul, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God." Orson F. Whitney

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