Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I Have The Best Job!

While eating my bowl of cereal this morning I saw a small part of a talk show that I was unfamiliar with. The host asked if they could have any job growing up what would it be and why. I started pondering some of the things I wanted to be when I grew up and I realized my whole life there had only been 2 things: An actress or a lawyer. But now when I consider either of those as a profession I cringe.

Well for starters, going to school to be a paralegal I've dealt with a LOT of lawyers. All of my professors have been or still currently are lawyers. They're nice (even though I know many people think differently) but I've come to decided that going to law school is really not something I'm interested in. I feel like I'm a pretty ambious person, maybe I'm not to the world's standards, but having that much resonsibility it far too intimating for me. I'm way too shy, I have a hard time thinking on the spot, and far too sensitive to emotional situations. Which is why I've always liked the aspect of being a paralegal. I do all the research, basically argue the case with my words, and get to do it all behind the scenes which is where I'm comfortable. 

As for an actress, I figure most girls at some point growing up want to be rich and famous (now I can say with certainty I would never, ever want to be famous.) I did theatre since I can remember and always was very passionate about it until these last few months where I've finally realized that theatre is something I did because I had always done it. I'm not so certain I was ever really that talented anyway. I wish I spent more time in extracurricular activities that I did have true passion for like Model U.N, debate team, and track (I'm one of those weird people who actually enjoys running.) Plus, being famous is over rated. I'm a fairly private person and could never handle someone being in my business all the time. 

Anyway, I realize I'm taking way longer then I originally intended to get to my point.

Since I realized I wouldn't want either of those careers I started to wonder if I could have any job in the world today what would it be. I have many interests but nothing I'd want to actually do for a living. After a lot of thinking I realized I already have the career I want: being a mother. I know it's totally cheesy but I guess I never really realized this is something I wanted and found passion for until I actually considered doing something else. I love learning about the law, and I hope to one day continue my education after my paralegal degree and get a mediation certificate, but what I'm doing now, more than it being important, is something I actually enjoy.

I know to many people in the world being a stay-at-home mom (I much prefer the word homemaker) is not a  fulfilling, important, or real job. But in my own opinion being a mom is the most fulfilling, important, and real job there is. I have a little person who depends on me entirely. I can't just up and quit, no matter how tired or frustrated I am, and every decision I make impacts my daughter for better or worse. There is no manual or how-to book, it's a job that my performance is constantly scrutinized and I don't get paid to do it--in fact I pay money to do it. There really is no other job like motherhood (or parenthood, including parents who work outside the home.)

There are days where Penelope tests my patience and even days where I'm pretty convinced that Penelope will be our one and only child ever. But there are more days that I find myself enjoying raising our sweet and precious daughter. I've never really thought I had many talents but I've found motherhood to be something I'm actually good at and something I have passion for. I'm not a perfect mother, no one is, but it's never a bad thing to strive for.

I know I've said it a thousand gazillion times but, being a mom is the best. It is worth every sacrafice and I'd choose it every time. It's the very reason I talk about it so much. Being a mom isn't the only thing that defines me but Penelope is my absolute greatest accomplishment (along with all our future children I'm sure) and will forever be so.

She gives the best hugs!
I love this sweet angel of ours!
And come on, look at this face!


1 comment:

  1. Toni, I just love you. You are a good role model and I love the woman you have become.