So...I need to vent a little. I'm 15 weeks pregnant and still sick as I've ever been in my life. Where should I be right now? Class. Why am I not there? Well, I was there. In the parking lot about to get out of our car when...yep. So not only did I throw up in front of all the wonderful Salt Lake Community College students walking on the sidewalk to their classes, I threw up on myself, my husband, and the car. I'll be honest, I cried. As I have most days since I've been pregnant due to extreme pregnancy hormones. But I feel like I've been doing my best to stay positive even though some days I feel like I'm dying. The other day I decided I needed to laugh about all of this. My husband and I were joking about my symptoms being like super powers. Not all super powers have to be useful or liked but having the power to do something more than others can be pretty impressive. So here are some of the super powers I have acquired in the last 15 weeks:
*WARNING: This post is not for those who are easily queasy or grossed out!
Super Power #1: Throw up on command
1: Let's start with the obvious. As you all know (clearly from the above and past posts) I throw up basically daily. If wanted, I could probably throw up whenever I choose...and whenever I don't choose...
I have the amazing ability to throw up right on the spot. No time for running to a toilet or a trash can near by. When I feel it coming you've got about 2 seconds to get out of my "throw up zone" or your risking getting thrown up on yourself. Just ask my husband. So what's my "throw up zone" you ask? Not what you would think. It's probably safe to stay at least 5 feet away from me because this kind of sick is an everywhere kind of sick. I can projectile vomit like you couldn't believe. I may be little, but I pack a lot of punch. Yeah, I just threw up in that bag but somehow I've managed to get it on the wall, the floor, your shoe sitting in the far corner of the room. Like I said, if you or your stuff is in a 5 feet radius of myself, consider yourself warned.
Super Power #2: Memory Loss
You know that saying, "Pregnancy Brain?" Yeah, it's real. You can tell me something and you can expect in about 5 seconds I've already forgotten. Don't believe me? Ask my co-workers. I've gone from being blonde to being REALLY blonde (no offense to those who are blonde!) This is especially not useful for my job. A member can give me their account number and I've forgotten it mid type (I work at a credit union for those who don't know). School work? Forget it. If I'm not writing it down, it's not happening. Oh, and that thing you asked me to pick up for you on my way home from work? I don't remember it even being asked. However, this super power can come in handy when needed. Luckily for me, it makes for great topic starters at work with members and an even better excuse when I mess up. All I've got to do is say, "Sorry, pregnancy brain" and I've got that person rapped around my little nugget's fingers. People love babies and therefore, regardless of how much I forget or how stupid I can sound at times, because I've got one in the oven, people love me.
Super Power #3: Super Smell
My smelly senses are tingling and not because you smell good, you probably smell terrible. Just kidding. But really. I can smell what you ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I know how many packs of cigarettes you smoke, if you put on enough deodorant this morning, or if you even showered. I probably know more about them than they know about themselves. Okay...so I probably don't but seriously there are so many stinky people in the world. And I'm pretty certain they are unaware of it. You can't hide your smell with some pretty perfume or cologne. You can hide nothing from me. In my defense I can smell good things too. It just so happens that there are more stinky people then pleasant people. And it's not just people. I can know what's in your fridge the moment I walk into your house. This is definitely a super power I wish I could turn off.
Super Power #4: Fumble Fingers
This one kind of goes along with memory loss. I have become more clumsy then I use to be. I can be walking down the street and trip over...nothing. My balance has gone from bad to worse in a matter of weeks. And forget handing me anything. It's like my hands no longer work properly. You hand it to me, it will just end up on the ground. Gone are the days where I can function like a normal human. It's pretty embarrassing how often I drop stuff.
Super Power #5: Super Critic
This is my husband's favorite super power. NOT. I'm not trying to be mean when I say I don't like it but all of a sudden my taste has become very particular. Too much salt. Not enough salt (and lately there is never enough). I've gone from "can cook for survival purposes" to "professional food taster." I'm pregnant. What do you expect? It's not my fault the name of certain foods can automatically make me puke my guts up (*cough cough, pizza). Hey, I just know what I like and don't like. ;)
Super Power #6: Creating Life
Last but not least, I am creating a baby inside of me. Stop and think about it for a second. I'm literally growing a human. How cool is that??? It's kinda intimidating and it scares the heck out of me but I find it fascinating that my body can even do this. Even though my "super powers" are not the most ideal and not ones I would chose if a genie could grant me a wish but I will gladly take all of the pain, sickness, and not so fun things just to have this beautiful baby at the end.
Sorry if there was a bit too much TMI. I think I needed this more for myself then anyone else. Sometimes it's good to laugh through the hard stuff and poke fun at yourself. :P
30 More days till we find out the sex of our baby!